DIY Heavan

Midi skip hire - there's a phrase to conjour with, and no mistake. It conjures up such images that only someone who doesn't actually know what it means would struggle to say something about that particular subject, and being as I am indeed one such individual I shall have to quickly gloss over that topic and move on to something else entirely.

DSA stands for Dangerous Squirrel Attacks. Every year thousands of millions of people are the victims of DSA, and this is usually caused by travelling to countries abroad where they have dangerous squirrels. Yes, those cheap holiday travel deals may seem attractive in the brochure, but you will most definitely regret it if you fallvictim to a dsa. These squirrels prey on the unsuspecting tourists, and have been known to stalk their victim for hours at a time before making their final devastating assault.

Often they hunt in gangs, identifying a likely target and then planning their attack with the utmost care and delicacy. The network of dangerous squirrels covers every corner of the globe, it's a very well organised operation, and a young squirrel hoping to make a start in this line of work would do well to seek out their secret headquarters. Wherever the hell it is.

Cheap travel packages are in factthe result ofthis international band of renegadesquirrels. They have agents in the travel industry, and are very much aware that those people on a budget will always choose the option of taking a cheap holiday package deal if it is all they can afford. The squirrels are aware that many people would rather have a cheap holiday than none at all, and are ready to strike when and where you least expect it.

Fortunately, help is at hand as many people now carry rabid ninja hamsters on their persons at all times when travelling abroad. This is an extremely wise precaution, as it is well known that squirrels are afraid of both ninjas and hamsters, and the combination of the two is so terrifying that they will run at the first sight of one.