DIY Heavan

I had too much cheese. Usually, I would call anybody who mentioned anything to do with thata heretic, but this time, it was serious. I had had a wine and cheese party, and, therefore, had ordered lots of cheese, (and wine). The only problem was that : I was the only one at this wine and cheese party. I had managed to finish off most of the wine, but after I'd eaten ten pounds of cheese, I started to throw up, all over the remaining cheese. I'd left it in the corner of my living room, but now it was starting to smell...bad.

I decided that I had to hire a skip to throw all the cheese away in. I looked through the phone book: surely skip hire costs would be under 'waste disposal services'. I stopped briefly to check at the 'extending your house' and 'extension' parts of the phone book on the way to skip hire costs.

There was only one skip hire company in town, and therefore, only one set of skip hire costs. Perhaps I had misheard the man on the other end of the phone, perhaps I hadn't, but five thousand pounds did seem a little bit excessive. There again, I wouldn't like to think how much the council would charge me in fines if I just decided to just dump it out in front of old Frank's, my next door neighbours, house. I told the operator on the other end of the phone that I would pay, and he told me that the skip hire would come around to my house within the next ten minutes.

I was not impressed by the skip I had hired, especially after I knew the skip hire costs. It wasn't even a proper skip I had hired, it was a kid's toy one that only came up to my knee. I wouldn't be able to fit much cheese into that! I fumed inside as I rang the company back up. All I seemed to get on the other end of the phone was a raucous laughing and people telling me that I had to pay them five thousand pounds regardless.

I ended up just dumping all the cheese outside my house. Just as I had expected, the council weren't happy. I ended up having to pay ten thousand pounds, five thousand for the skip, and five thousand to the council. I did, however, learn something out of the whole experience. Never get too much cheese for a wine and cheese party.